Is love complete without lust?


Warmed to bed

Young Adults

So, she was frigid. Atleast Atul thought so. So did Reshma, Shipra and Mrunal, three of her closest friends. Saloni had confided in each of them separately. They were her childhood pals. In Itarsi, Ambala  and  Wardha. Though they were scattered all over the land like mustard seeds spilled on the kitchen slab, Saloni had kept in touch with most of her school friends. Her father a Railway employee had been transferred to many places in the country. Saloni quick to make friends had enjoyed it all. She had lost count of the number of schools she changed, not the number of friends she made. She had meticulously maintained a scrap book of her best friends. There were 53 of them by now. They were the list of her very best friends. She had decided not to add more than five each year to the list....but actually she wanted to add so much so much more. 
 
Over the years she had shared many dark secrets with them. The first blood, the first crush, 
the first itch, and the first breakup. The first grope and push at 13 as she had hurriedly dropped her lacy inners and Jatin pushed forward. The anxious days when she had forgotten her morning pills though Ma had pushed it in her palm religiously before she went to school. They chirped all the girlie talks for hours over the telephone, shared laughs and wept copiously together on so many occasions. The chats had become more explicit as the smartphones  entered the bathrooms. She had relationships with at least three boys before she met Atul. 
 
Atul, who refused sex before marriage. It was his warm affection and honesty that had bowled her over. On occasions when it itched, she had even tried to seduce Atul. Yet Atul had held fast. In the end she had to go home and do the hand job. Now even after they were married, their sex life remained surprisingly tepid. Not because of Atul. Saloni had discussed her uneventful sex life with her bosom pals on the mobile phone threadbare. Each one of them had said that it was she who needed to go to the doctor. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps not, Saloni herself was not sure anymore. How did she suddenly lose the urge when she wanted it the most? It was now two years they had been married. She did not come even once. It was the same story each time. Again and again they had tried to make love. Right from the honeymoon cottage at Chail, to last night. 
 
She kept on trying, and so did Atul. They had not given up. They tried different postures. The Kamasutra was revisited each night. She had tried many Ayurvedic potions. They also consulted their doctor friends. Nothing happened. She remained stone cold even as Atul became piping hot. Somehow the gap increased. The gap in their excitement level after the initial foreplay. The finger touch did not work nor did the vibrators. Even those bumpy biggish breasts did not respond to his touch any more. The nipples did not bloat to the measured dribble of his roving fingers. The misty pink bulbs did not harden. They did not show the goose pimples on the soft squeeze. The hard pinch only brought pain. Even the pump of the breasts brought discomfort not pleasure. Atul as always was very gentle, but somehow their love could not transition into lust. At times she thought "Is love complete without lust?"  They started to realize that, and fear that. This because both knew that she had sex in the past and really enjoyed it. Now as Atul gushed inside her, she just went cold. #comebacktomorrow

 
 


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